Somehow
by RileysHell
Summary: Inspired by the song "Somehow" by Evan & Jaron (can find it on yt). I don't want to give away too much, so no summary for this one. And no beta either.


_[People staring like they somehow know. This place we used to go just don't feel the same anymore]_

Jane always felt proud whenever they went out. When they were out to dinner, with Maura all dressed up, the men (and occasional woman) would all stare at her. And when Jane touched Maura's arm or back, in that tender way that screamed just how much she loved her girlfriend, the men would stare in awe and confusion. But the look of defeat on their faces was always the best part for Jane. It made her feel capable of everything, more than good enough. She felt victorious.

Going out to the Robber after work on Friday with the rest of their friends and family was a highlight every week. It marked the beginning of the weekend, and they could finally relax. The atmosphere was light and fun, they could talk and laugh and just enjoy a cold beer or a glass of wine. And Jane could wrap her arm around Maura and for once, be soft and not tough and sarcastic and macho. She could plant small kisses on Maura's cheek and smile stupidly whenever Maura let out a soft sigh and snuggled closer to Jane's side. No one would tease her or let out sappy 'aw's.

_ [Thought I'd visit for a healing drink but it just made me think about everything we had before]_

(Their favorite booth, the table where they had openly held hands in front of their friends for the first time, the framed picture in the ladies room that Jane had pushed aside and written their initials on the wall on their six month anniversary, the jukebox that had played the song which made Jane want to dance with Maura, for the very first time, the alley behind the Robber where they had more than once made out and barely managed to keep their hands off of each other before getting in a cab.)

_[I try to move on but my whole world surrounds you. I lied when I said I'd be okay without you]_

(There's still a picture of Maura in the window, sometimes Jane turns it so she doesn't have to look at it. She knows it's not healthy to pull out the tank top that she stole from Maura's bedroom floor the night after the break up. But she can't help herself. If she tries hard enough, it still smells like Maura. On her sane days she knows it's not true.)

Jane stumbled up the last steps and barely kept on her feet. Maura laughed, proudly, smugly, slyly. She knew too well the control she had as Jane shed her jacket on the floor in the middle of the hall. Jane was about to wrap her arms around Maura's waist when Maura placed her hand on Jane's chest and stopped her.

"Why the rush, detective?"

She added a tilt of her head and even bit her lip, knowing the reaction she would get. Jane growled and took a step forwards. Maura took a step backwards, all the while smiling.

"You're such a tease" Jane mumbled with her eyes fixated on the so very tempting cleavage in front of her.

Maura giggled and turned around.

"Unzip me" she said while looking over her shoulder.

Jane complied, quickly getting Maura out of her dress and even picked it up and folded it neatly over the railings by the stairs. She knew she scored points that way. Then she turned back to the beautiful, and most importantly, almost naked woman that only she could touch. If the defeated looks on men's faces made her feel victorious, knowing no one else could touch Maura made her invincible. Only her fingers were allowed to touch the skin of the most amazing woman in the world. No one else was allowed to kiss Maura and love her. She was the one, and the only one, who made Maura Isles come undone.

"How can you be so incredibly sexy?" Jane whispered as she finally was allowed to embrace Maura.

Jane kissed her before Maura had the chance to respond. A soft kiss and Maura was left surprised. She was expecting the wild side of Jane that night, the part of Jane that would ravish her. But like so many times before, Jane had been caught up in her thoughts and had gone from a desperate need to showing Maura just how much she loved her.

"You are seriously the sexiest…"

Jane placed a kiss on Maura's cheek.

"Most beautiful…"

Just below the ear.

"Smartest…"

Where shoulder met neck and Maura whimpered.

"Most passionate woman…"

Down the collar bone.

"On earth…"

Over to the other shoulder.

"And I'm honored to even know you."

She ended up on Maura's lips again, and Maura couldn't keep her smile at bay. She pulled back and placed her hand on Jane's shoulder.

"Even though I love it when you get all mushy…" she started and moved as close as possible without actually touching Jane's lips with her own.

"I like it better when you're a woman of actions."

Jane smiled and leaned in to kiss Maura only to pull back at the slightest touch.

"Oh yeah?"

Maura nodded and licked her lip, aware of how crazy it made Jane. Before she could even take a breath, she was swept off her feet. Jane had picked her up, like so many times before, and almost ran to the bedroom and their bed. Maura laughed at the chills that went down her spine. She fell down onto the bed with her arms locked around Jane's neck. Jane instantly smothered her with kisses, fueling Maura's laughter.

"Jane, wait, wait!"

"Nchncebby" Jane mumbled too busy to even remove her lips from Maura's skin.

"Jane!"

Maura gave her a slight push, and Jane stopped.

"What?"

Maura barely managed to stop laughing.

"You forgot to turn off the lights in the hallway…"

"Later" Jane answered and started her assault of kisses again.

"Do it now and I promise to be naked when you return…"

Jane jumped up and was gone in the blink of an eye.

_[Who's there unbuttoning your dress at night? Who turns off the hall light so your feet don't have to touch the cold floor?]_

(She closes her eyes and she can still point out all the sensitive places along Maura's body. She knows the exact form of the scar on Maura's neck. And she still feels guilty for it. Her apartment is cold, and a complete mess. The right side of her bed is still untouched since the last time Maura spent the night. Silly little things like Maura's toothbrush are too difficult to change. Jane can't make herself throw it out. Even a bottle of Maura's favorite wine has its own space in the kitchen. Half empty, and Jane has more than once saved it from being poured out in the sink by her mother. No one seems to understand why she still clings to the memories. But then again, no one knows the whole truth. Only Jane knows that Maura hasn't closed the door completely.)

_[Are you happy now? Cause if you're happy now I'll try to move along somehow]_

(She's started playing piano again. Her friends try to do whatever they can to get her out, but she declines all their offers. She can't let go of that tiny little spark of hope in her gut. She doesn't want to move on if there's a glimmer of a chance they can get back what they had. She's still sure there's no one better for her, she still feels like she's cheating if she even thinks about meeting someone new. Everything in her life points to Maura. And no one can change it. Except Maura. But until that day comes, Jane refuses to let go.)

_[There's gotta be a way somehow. I don't wanna find it, but there must be a way somehow]_

(She finds the piece of paper underneath her pillow. She keeps it there for nostalgic reasons, except when she's sleeping. When she's sleeping she places the note on Maura's pillow, to keep it in one piece. On their 23rd day together, Jane had woken up to the note next to her instead of Maura who had been called out in the early morning hours.

_You make me feel like the teenager I never was. Don't let it ever stop._


End file.
